Mark David Alexander Mabey

MY World Stopped

My World Stopped

My son, I don't know how I've made it through
These past 12 months .. here .. without you
As I sit here, so unsure
This past year, is just such a blurr

I can't remember what I did last week
My mind has holes, memory leaks
yet.. I can recall, those last few days
That lead up, to you going away

Like the last time I hugged you, 8 days before
When you dropped me off at my sister’s door
6 days later, the last time we talked
Making me laugh, you were my rock

You told me I would see you next weekend,
You were driving down here with Amanda, your friend.
"I love Ya Momma", were your last words to me
Then handed the phone to your sister, you see
You all had called me that day to say
Hi to me, Happy Thanksgiving Day.

The day before I remember so clear
Was a very good day, I had no fear
I sat with my friend, talked of days gone by
I was nervous as heck, had a date with a guy

That night was so blissful, had a great time
That was the last night I heard bells chime.
I woke the next morning still filled with joy
A half hour later, found out I'd lost my boy

I can remember screaming, no not my son
Being picked up off the floor, I just wanted to run
I would not believe it, could not accept
From that point on, I remember I wept

Since that day my life has stood still
Life since then has been straight up hill
They all say I must go on,
I don't know how, now that you’re gone

I miss you with every breath I take
I feel so empty, my life a fake
At Heaven I just want to scream,
This can’t be real it must be a dream

You can't have him, this is my plea
Give my big hearted son back to me!!!!!
October 14th, two thousand and nine
My world stopped, there's no more time!!!!!

Written on the 1 yr anniversary of losing my son, Mark David Alexander Mabey
January 24th, 1985 - October 14th, 2009
Never more than a breath away, no amount of time will ever heal the pain of losing you.

Deb Mabey (Mom)

October 16, 2010

I am the mother of the brightest Star in the sky ... I miss u more and more as each day u are gone passes by Mark.

Heaven was Needing a Hero

I came by today to see you
Oh I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you, and never let go

Oh, it's kept me awake nights, wondering
I lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
You won't be called home
Until it's your time

I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

I remember the last time I saw you
Oh, you held your head up proud
I laughed inside
When I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more

Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

Is Heaven was needing a hero
and that's you

Deb Mabey (Mom)

November 13, 2009

No Resolve by the Student Driver Band

So this is how you leave me
Bleeding where I stand
I've tried so hard to figure out
I've tried to understand
What could have been so goddamn painful
What it was that made you feel it had to end
What was that final puzzle piece
You couldn't get to fit?
Did you take a minute to stop and think
How we would deal with it?
There'll be no answers to these questions
We've got to carry on and try to live

So goodbye I can't believe you're gone
So goodbye somehow I hope that you can hear this song

Was there something I could have done
That might have changed your mind?
If I told you I love you and I need you here
Would you still be alive?
And though I know it's not my fault
I still carry all this guilt and shame inside

So goodbye I can't believe you're gone
So goodbye somehow I hope that you can hear this song

To this song there is no ending
For this pain there's no resolve
Time won't cover up the wound
When you lose someone you love
If I could ask you one last thing
I guess that I would ask you why
I'd ask you why

So goodbye I can't believe you're gone
So goodbye somehow I hope that you can hear this song

Jill Mabey (Sister)

November 6, 2009

You may not think the world needed you, but it did. For you were unique: like no one that has ever been before or will come after. No one can speak with your voice; say your piece; smile your smile; or shine your light. No one can take your place for it was yours alone to fill. Because you are not here to shine your light, who knows how many travelers will lose their way as they try to pass by your empty place in the darkness
Rest in Peace.

Linda Quick

October 27, 2009

To my Daddy, from your Emma

DADDY

You never said I’m leaving
You never kissed me good bye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why

A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died

In life I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That no one else could fill

It broke my heart to lose you
But you didn’t go alone
For part of me went with you
The day God took u home

I miss you soooo much Daddy
I will always be your little girl

Deb Mabey (Mom)

October 25, 2009

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same day
There's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Thought there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

Deb Mabey (Mom)

October 23, 2009

Questions In My Head - by Danielle Benyon-Payne

I look at the last picture of you and me,
A picture shows what we cannot always see.
Eyes that no longer shine, a smile that covers tears,
Only you knew your feelings,
Only you knew your fears.

I look back with hindsight,
Was there something I could have done?
I feel such enormous guilt,
And I know I’m not the only one.
Why couldn’t you share with us,
How down you really were?
Did you think we wouldn’t understand?
Think we wouldn’t care?
Did you really think life would be better for us this way?
Would life really have been unbearable for you if you had stayed?
I understand life was hard for you, in a way I’ve never known,
But we would have been there for you, you would never be alone.
When we were out that night, were you aware?
Did you know it was our last night together?
Is that why we were there?
I think back over every detail, what was said? What did we do?
Did I make it clear, in every way, that I loved being there with you?
I meant to tell you that weekend, what a lovely time I had,
But time ran away with me, and now I feel sad,
That I never made it back to yours,
To tell you what I meant to say,
And now my chance has been taken away.
So I’ll tell you now instead, I love you, I miss you.
My world stopped the moment you died.
I run through the motions,
But something has changed inside,
I love you, miss you, always.

Joanne Mum To Alex And Ciara

October 23, 2009